Random thoughts, writing

About short stories…

Right, I said I was going to focus on writing short stories – you know, to get writing again and increase the number of posts. That worked out well, didn’t it?

It turns out, short stories are a lot of work. A lot! If it’s supposed to be short, there’s no room for descriptions. How do I introduce a character and his background without rambling on and on with explanations? How can I tell how this world works, within only a few lines.

Then there’s the research. Does this actually work the way I think it does? Would someone react this way when facing that problem? Is this plausible?
Sure, I write fantasy, so anything goes, right? Anything can exist, and everything can work however I want it to of course. But is it plausible? Does it seem reasonable within the workings of this world?

Sure is a lot to consider, just as much as for a longer story, but within a word limit…

This is something I’ve never realized before and I now have a much deeper respect for novelists and short story writers. It sure is a craft hard to master – and to be honest, I doubt it’s for me. I tend to make to grand plans and schemes for them to fit in a short story.

So, without breaking to much of my word, I’m currently trying something else. Simply writing a story without explaining to much about how and why something works; just stating that it’s something that does work. We’ll see how that turns out.

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//G

Random thoughts, writing

Breaking the silence

Right, so it’s sure been a while since I bothered writing something here. In fact, it’s been a while since I wrote anything at all other than for school or in my journal. Not that it matters I suppose, it’s not that I have any delusions about my poor followers who’s dying to read my new posts or anything. In fact, I don’t think anyone but my fiancé actually noticed that I stopped writing.

However, since my last activity (wich wordpress was quick to remind me was ages ago and only got 6 views) some things have changed.

  • We’ve left our flat to move into our own house instead, yay!
  • We had to let our dog enter the eternal sleep due to cancer (wich still makes me cry)
  • We’ve both moved on to our next term of nursing school
  • I seem to have beaten the worst of my gaming addiction

I don’t know if anyone really cares at all, or if this even is going to be read by someone at all. But it doesn’t matter, this is just an icebreaker. Or silence breaker. To let everyone (or no one) know that I’ll be picking up the pen again (well, not really, keyboard perhaps). And mainly, a way to get myself back into writing again.

I’ve actually been thinking of writing more short stories instead, and lay more of my blog-focus on that. The whole addiction part is rather dull after all, and right now it’s not much to write about. That’s probably why I havn’t written – lack of stuff to process into text.

So anyhow… Hi, I’m back. And there’s probably going to pop up a separate tab or something for short stories shortly.

 

G~

Random thoughts

Speaking about idols.

An idol is an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed or any person or thing regarded with admiration, adoration, or devotion.

–Wikipedia

I never really had any idols growing up, nor could I understand the fanatic following of them. Sure, I liked some artists and groups (like Spice Girls – yeah, that’s right, I’m secure enough to admit it) and some authors etcetera, but I couldn’t really idolize them. I liked them, but not more than that. I wasn’t a fan or a real follower. Not like many of my friends, who easily could say who their idol was, no matter if it was an athlete or artist, but everyone had an idol.

It kinda made me feel left out, or the oddball, but I simply didn’t get it.
Until just recently – I finally found my idol, and now I get it. I totally get it.

Mr. Patrick Rothfuss, author of the Kingkiller chronicles, you’re my idol.

Not only is he an amazing writer with a great story (great is really an understatement, but it’s not the point) and a great beard, he’s also a very intelligent and aware man, and seem to be a loving husband and father.

I feel like I can go on and on about how awesome he is, but honestly, I think it’s better that you just see for yourself: check this blogpost out for example.

To sum it up if you don’t want to read it (but you should), he’s the founder of Worldbuilders, a charity group who through their annual fundraiser donate huge sums of money to different projects that, simply put, build a better world (through helping poor villages with food and water supply and much more). Not only does Mr. Rothfuss dedicate alot of his time to this group, he also donates alot of money. For one day, he vows to match all donations up to a total of 100 000$ (see the blog post for details).

100 000$. Honestly, how great isn’t that?

And this is where I realised I actually have found a idol. I want to be like him. I want to improve my own writing, I want to reach out to people, I want people to follow me – only so I can follow in Rothfuss’ footsteps and make a difference. A difference by getting charity work funded.
Not because I want to be famous, I much rather want to stay unknown to actually be left in peace. But if that’s what it takes to make a difference, I’d gladly withstand the hassle.

So, if you’re anything like me and want to help build a better world, read more about Worldbuilders and make a donation over here.

If you’re not into a pure donation from the good of your heart (even though there’s a chance of winning goods in their lottery), you can also check out their store with all kinds of geeky goods for sale, wich also goes straight to charity. How awesome is that?
Very.
So head over here and build a better world by increasing your geeky collection!

//G

Random thoughts

Time, and the lack there of.

Yeah, so it turns out there’s not enough hours a day to keep writing about your addiction, getting in shape, spending time with your fiancée, reading books, watching movies, beating your addiction, writing a book AND study to become a nurse. Atleast not for me, it’s already rough enough to beat the addiction, I don’t need to feel stressed about running a blog about it as well – or any of the other things either.

So for the time being, I’m going to try and relax a bit more and focus on my studies and health. When I feel that I have energy to spare and something to say, I’ll still update (I already have a few subjects pending, but they’re just not finished yet).

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Some of the nursing litterature. (Own photo)

Let me know if you have any tips about great articles to read, or if you want me to actually discuss something.

Until later.

G~

My Story

My story: Bargaining

I’ve had a rough couple of days – or rather a week – where I’ve had a really big urge to pick up gaming again. It’s been itching, and my mind has just been begging for me to spend an evening by the computer with Diablo 3, or WoW. Or atleast play just for an hour or so. You know, just take a “shot” of gaming and then let it be. It can’t be that harmful, right?

It’s not that bad if you’re a gamer, as long as you keep it in check. We can control it this time, we’re aware. Only play on thursdays? Come on, atleast this once…

Yeah, I know. It’d be a terrible idea, so I’ve not done it. But it’s been close…

The urge has been so great that the gaming daemons (voices, sprites, thoughts – whatever), have tried to bargain with me, to make a deal. Again, just to clarify: I don’t hear actual voices. It’s my thoughts that just change their usual pattern, there’s a clear difference to how I normally reason. I found myself thinking that it might not be so bad with one evening of gaming. As long as I’d prepared everything for school and didn’t risk falling behind in my group assignment, it would be ok. And then I could disconnect the PC to reduce the risk of playing more – or even stay a few nights at my parents instead. It ought to be ok…

We’ll keep it in check, honestly…

I thought about that for a long while, before I could snap out of it and realise what a terrible idea it was. So no worries, I told the demons to shut up, it’s a bad idea, and that was it. For about 10 minutes…

The demons found other ways of trying to convince me; they said it would be fine if I also took care of all the house chores before I played. Do the dishes, vacuuming, dusting etc. Everything that needs to be done this week, I can easily take care of that on beforehand so I can play with a clean consciousness. They actually convinced me for a while, and wanted me to go to missus to make the deal. Wich, in itself, is actually something positive – even though I submitted to the urge, I was strong enough to realise I need her consent before deciding anything.

And when I actually went to her to bargain, I just felt stupid. I mean, come on, I’m not a teenager who can bargain for gaming time with mom. I’m an adult, it’s my own choice; and the choice is to quit gaming, not grovel in the dust and beg for gaming.

This thought was the one that actually saved me this time. Instead of going to missus to bargain for a deal where I got to play, I went to her and talked about how I felt and how much I wanted to play – to the length that I was just about to start begging for it… And after that, after explaining how hard it was right now, how I felt, the urge actually eased up. Sure, I still want to play, it’s been a big hobby and I liked it. But it went away to the degree that I can withstand it again, just by talking about it. It helps – atleast for now.

After this I’ve been mentally spent. It literally is a battle to keep the demons at bay, no question about it. I’ve not even been able to write about it because I’ve been so spent these days. But it does get easier. Just as with any other training and excercising, you do get stronger, it does get easier. It’s just to hang in there.

img src: http://belsebuub.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/shutterstock_92366884_resizecrop3x4-300×224.jpg

//G

My Story

The itch

The scariest part of fighting my addiction is probably the fact that I actually get physical symptoms as well. It’s not just my mind that bugs me, and the “voices” trying to convince me that I should pick up a game. I also get this weird itching feeling. But not quite an itch either – those you can scratch and then it’s usually fine. This is something else…

You know that feeling you have when you’re restless and can’t sit still, when it kind of crawls under your skin and you just need to stretch your legs, flex your muscles or simply go for a run. That feeling you get when you’ve spent most day in front of the tv or simply have to much energy left. The restless legs.

That’s the feeling I get when I think about gaming or the abstinence sets in.  Only I don’t get restless legs – I get this feeling in my neck and shoulders. This itching, restless feeling just under my skin. Sometimes just enough to make my whole neck feel numb.

And this honestly scares me. This is how addicted I am to gaming, to the level of physical symptoms that I barely can describe or explain – nor understand.
Being a big fan of fantasy and mystery, I’ve kind of played around with the thought that this is the place where the voices, the gaming demons, have chosen to nest. Mind you, that I’m only playing with the thought, I don’t actually believe in demons… But one can surely understand why people did back in the days.

//G

Posted from WordPress for Android.
Please excuse any typos, they’re likely because of autocorrect.

My Story

Backslide

I had somewhat of a backslide this week. Yesterday my vacation started, and I thought it was finally time to take care of some maintenance on my PC. I’ve been putting this off for almost a year now, so it’s about time.
Without even thinking about it however, I just fired up Diablo 3 and found meself logged in and sorting items and crafting gems (you don’t really need to know what that mean, so I won’t go into any game details).

The interesting parts about this is that

A) I didn’t even stop to consider if I really should log in, I just did as a natural reflex
B) as soon as I noticed and started to question what the hell I was doing, the Voices told me it was all ok.

You’re not really playing, you’re just doing some crafting and checking your mail box – it does’nt count.

Yeah, right, sure it does’nt… I mean, sure, it took care of some of the abstinence, but surely not in a good way. I got a fix.
I went to my dealer and got a fix – as simple as that. Simpler than anything, really. And seeing how easy it was, today I actually disconnected the monitor cable and sent it along with missus as she went to school.
It had to be done. Apparently, I can’t be trusted with games right now…

//G

Posted from WordPress for Android.
Please excuse any typos, they’re likely because of autocorrect.